‘It was the best of times; it was the worst of times…’  Thus begins our tale of two teams at the Stirling tournament 2010.

 On Saturday 5^th June 2010, our small band of revolutionaries set out from Woodlands Road to meet their destiny at the first STS tournament of the season.  Excitement and trepidation permeated their ranks as they speculated on the forthcoming trials.  Leading the charge to victory was their intrepid Head Coach Victor F.S who gave the team a rousing pep talk in advance of their departure. 

What’s that, I’m making it up again?  Yes, your intrepid reporter is busted dear reader, as, at this point in proceedings, our illustrious Head Coach was firmly ensconced in his scratcher.  Ah yes, the ‘Special one’ had slept in.

Undeterred, the intrepid band set off, certain that someone must remember the road to Stirling from last year!!

The Team:

0900 - Our band of intrepid revolutionaries arrives in Stirling and it’s immediately down to business.  It was time to circle the carriages and set up the tented village for the night ahead. Next on the agenda – the important business of registering for the tournament and so the Shark Attack Champion of 2010 turns to the Special One to get the team lists.  But wait, the Special One is nowhere to be seen!  Never mind, get the Ceilidh tickets in, there’s always time to register later…

 At this point, dear reader, I am proud to announce the arrival of the Lions as a real force to be reckoned with in touch rugby.  Oh yes, for on Saturday 5^th June 2010, the Glasgow Lions pitched their very first tournament gazebo.  The addition of a waterproof picnic blanket, a cooler of drinks and a small portable chair all proclaiming their arriviste status to the world.

Finally, heralded by trumpets and harps, the Special One arrived at the tents and really gave his pep talk this time (better late than never).

So, finally down to business.  The teams announced, the Captains selected, the Lions took the field.   A new sense of reverence was obvious from their opponents who had seen their gazebo.  First up, the Glasgow Lions versus Inverness.  The gazebo having done its job, the Lions romped the first game of the day, thrashing Inverness 8 – 2.  Mr Andrew (Zombie Feet) Armstrong and Ruby (Sharp Dressed Man) Kanth, ran in two each, while Stevie B, Alan D, Cameron D and the Special One all scored one each.  It truly was the best of times.  The worst of times were, tragically, soon to follow as the Rampant Lions, were slightly less than rampant losing 1 – 7 to Blackadders Sage.  High praise and a special mention to Elaine Clark for scoring her first ever touchdown for the Lions.

Next on the Agenda for the Glasgow Lions, were the Ruckers, whose gazebo was clearly bigger than ours, as they held the Lions to a 2 – 2 draw.  The scorers for the Lions were Stevie B and the Special One.  In the ‘Battle of the Cats’ the Rampant Lions had a difficult time as they were beaten by the Leopards 0 – 10.  Special mention goes to the McRat Packer Alan McHugh who did some spectacular chasing in defence.

Back to back games did little to help the Rampant Lions as they went down 1 – 13 versus the Meerkats.  Kudos, however to score against the team of mainly Scottish Internationals, and a big cheer to the Blonde Bombshell and Rampant Captain Keith who scored against the Meerkats.  Zombie Feet Armstrong was the only Lion to score in the next match against Superhands as the Glasgow Lions went down 1 – 5.

A close fought match against Barely Kilt, saw the Rampant Lions narrowly defeated 2 – 3 as Big Daddy John Murray and the man with the biggest feet in the team Justin Dunne each scored.  Alas the day was almost over for the Rampant Lions, who although beaten were never bowed.  The Rampant Lions then went on to play the losers from the quarter final matches.

 Quarter Final

The Glasgow Lions were now into the Quarter Finals of the tournament and had revenge on the Leopards for their earlier defeat of the Rampant Lions in the ‘Battle of the Cats’.  In this ‘Battle of the Cats 2’ , the Lions ran four past the Leopard defence while managing to keep a clean sheet.  Beefcake (Just Pants thanks!) and Stevie B both scored once, while the Sharp Dressed Man (Ruby K) scored twice.

 Semi Final

In the semi – final, the Glasgow Lions faced the wallpaper clad Blackadder Sage team.  The Sharp Dressed Man, the Dancing Queen (Sinead O’L) and the Special One all scored in a 4 – 3 defeat of the decorator’s assistants.  On to the final!!!

 The Final

In the final match of the day against Fingers, the Glasgow Lions demonstrated a superb combination of attacking and defending prowess as they defeated arch rivals Superhands, 3 – 2.  The Sharp Dressed Man, the Special One and Beefcake all ran home touchdowns to take the Glasgow Lions on to victory.

For a full list of the day’s results, please visit  http://www.stirlingtouch.com/tourneyresult10.htm

Now, it was time for some fun in the sun.  The coolers were popped open, the beers were cracked and the preparations for the serious business of the day (the Ceilidh silly!) were begun.  At this point, your intrepid reporter must close, as of course, the rule of what goes on tour, stays on tour applies.  However, suffice to say there were several displays of blatant exhibitionism from the Lions; karaoke with the band, displays of ‘Oirish’ and ‘dirty dancing’, crazy drumming exploits, press ups, pants, Shark Attacks and tartan all of which will go down in the annals of tournament history.